When Kegels Aren’t the Whole Story
There’s a quiet assumption many people carry after birth (or even just moving through life in a body):
Something needs fixing.
Maybe it sounds like:
“I should be doing more kegels.”
“I need to get my core back.”
“Something feels off… but I don’t know what.”
And while there’s truth in tending to the body—especially the pelvic floor—there’s also a deeper layer that often gets missed:
Healing isn’t only about strength. It’s about relationship.
The pelvic floor is not just a muscle group
Yes, the pelvic floor has structure and function.
It supports the bladder, uterus, and bowels. It helps with continence, stability, and pressure management.
But it’s also more than that.
It responds to:
stress
breath
posture
trauma
how safe or rushed we feel in our daily lives
It’s part of a larger system—not something that exists in isolation.
And that means healing isn’t always as simple as “tighten and strengthen.”
Sometimes the pelvic floor isn’t weak—it’s overwhelmed
After pregnancy, birth, or even years of holding tension, the pelvic floor can become:
underactive (not engaging when needed)
overactive (holding too much, too often)
or simply uncoordinated
Symptoms can look like:
leaking or urgency
heaviness or pressure
pain with intimacy
low back or hip discomfort
These experiences are incredibly common—some studies suggest many people continue to experience pelvic floor symptoms long after birth, sometimes for years.
But common doesn’t mean trivial.
And it doesn’t mean you have to push through it.
More isn’t always better
It might feel surprising, but doing more exercises isn’t always the answer.
Pelvic floor muscle training can be helpful—especially for reducing symptoms like urinary leakage or prolapse risk.
But research also shows it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution.
In some cases, outcomes vary depending on the individual, the type of symptoms, and how the exercises are guided.
Which is another way of saying:
Your body isn’t a generic program.
And your healing doesn’t need to follow a rigid script.
What if the starting point is curiosity?
Instead of asking:
“What’s wrong with me?”
A gentler place to begin might be:
What do I notice?
When do symptoms show up?
When do they soften?
What feels supportive—not just physically, but emotionally?
This kind of awareness builds something that strengthening alone can’t:
trust in your body again.
Healing can be subtle—and still meaningful
Pelvic floor healing doesn’t always look dramatic.
Sometimes it looks like:
breathing more fully
feeling less urgency or tension
noticing your body during movement
having a moment of ease where there used to be holding
These shifts can be quiet.
But they matter.
They’re often the foundation that everything else builds on.
You don’t have to do this alone
Working with a pelvic floor therapist can offer:
personalized guidance (not guesswork)
support for both strength and relaxation
a space to ask questions you might not feel comfortable asking elsewhere
And just as importantly—
a place where your experience is taken seriously.
Because it should be.
A different way to think about healing
If you’ve been approaching your pelvic floor like something to fix, improve, or “get back,” you’re not alone.
But there’s another way to hold it:
Not as a problem to solve.
But as a part of your body asking to be understood.
A gentle next step
If this resonates, you don’t need to overhaul everything.
You might begin with:
a few slower breaths
noticing how you sit, stand, or carry tension
reaching out for support when you’re ready
Small, consistent awareness often creates more lasting change than intensity ever could.
References
Postpartum pelvic floor muscle training and pelvic floor disorders: systematic review and meta-analysis
Mayo Clinic – Childbirth-related pelvic floor dysfunction overview
Postpartum exercise and pelvic floor outcomes: systematic review and meta-analysis
