We’re Not Meant to Do Life Alone
Written by Ashlee Doheny with Cedar & Steam Sauna
We spend so much of our lives connected.
Connected to Wi-Fi.
Connected to our phones.
Connected to notifications, emails, group chats, social media, calendars, and a never-ending stream of information.
And yet, somehow, so many of us feel disconnected.
We can spend an entire day communicating with people without actually being with anyone.
There’s something different about sitting across from another person. Laughing together. Moving together. Sharing a meal. Having a conversation that isn’t interrupted by a notification. Trying something difficult alongside someone else. Being quiet together without feeling like the silence needs to be filled.
We’re not meant to do life alone.
And I think we’re also not meant to make our lives as comfortable as possible all the time.
There’s something powerful about doing hard things with other people.
Not hard in a way that breaks us down. Hard in a way that reminds us what we’re capable of.
That’s one of the reasons I love sauna.
You sit in the heat.
You breathe.
You feel the discomfort.
And then you have choices.
You can stay.
You can step out.
You can cool down.
You can come back in.
You learn to listen to your body instead of immediately trying to escape the uncomfortable feeling.
And somewhere in that process, you’re reminded:
I can be uncomfortable and still be okay.
But what makes the experience even more meaningful to me is doing it with other people.
There’s something about sitting in a hot sauna with people you may have just met and realizing that, for a little while, nobody is checking their phone. Nobody is rushing off to the next thing. Nobody is performing.
You’re just there.
Sweating. Breathing. Laughing. Talking. Being human.
Maybe you share something personal. Maybe you have a completely ridiculous conversation. Maybe you sit quietly and listen to the fire.
It doesn’t have to be profound to matter.
Sometimes connection is simply being fully present in the same place at the same time.
And maybe that’s what we’re missing more than we realize.
We don’t necessarily need another productivity hack, another app, another podcast, or another thing to add to our morning routine.
Maybe sometimes we need to put the phone down.
Get outside.
Do something that asks something of us.
Move our bodies.
Sit in the heat.
Take a cold plunge.
Laugh with strangers.
Have a conversation that lasts longer than a text message.
Let ourselves be uncomfortable.
And remember that we are capable of moving through discomfort—and that we don’t have to do it alone.
Because the hard things we go through aren’t necessarily things we have to simply endure.
What if they’re shaping us?
I’ve learned that growth doesn’t come from avoiding discomfort. It comes from learning that we can move through it.
Stress comes. Hard seasons come. Things change.
We don’t get to control all of that.
But we can practice how we meet it.
And maybe the spaces we create to step away from the noise—to breathe, connect, challenge ourselves, and simply be with other humans—are more important than we realize.
Not because a sauna magically fixes everything we’re carrying.
Not because one conversation changes everything.
But because sometimes we just need a place to slow down long enough to remember ourselves.
To remember that we’re human.
To remember that we’re capable.
To remember that there are other people carrying things, too.
And maybe, just maybe, the parts of us that are built through those hard moments become some of our strongest, shiniest parts.
So the next time you feel yourself reaching for your phone, filling your calendar, or trying to make everything a little easier…
Consider doing the opposite.
Put the screen down.
Go somewhere.
Be around people.
Try something a little uncomfortable.
Have the conversation.
Take the sauna.
Take the plunge.
Stay for the fire.
And ask yourself:
What am I carrying that I’m ready to put down?
And what might be waiting for me on the other side of it?
Because we’re not meant to do life alone.
